Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
