can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
