Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
