so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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