How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
