I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
my poor anus
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
