You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
