whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
