Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
