i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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