We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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