all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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