Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
