i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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