she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
