I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize