Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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