my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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