kristin has been a bad kristin
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
