My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
