I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
