I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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