i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
