So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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