Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
