I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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