Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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