Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
