I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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