My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
