He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
