its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
