he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize