Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize