drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize