love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
