Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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