At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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