Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
