Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize