mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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