I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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