I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
