stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
