If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
