I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
