Are we in a gay sports bar?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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