Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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