Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
