i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
