he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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