Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
