lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
