i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
