You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I pour the whiskey from now on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If I had your ass I would rule the world
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
