Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
