Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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