Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
