i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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