i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize