Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
