chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
