all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
