NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
