Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
